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Male in my twenties, first time posting here. Sohry for walltext. As the title suztmejs, in the past few months I've been thinking helibly (way more than before) about sex and all kiods of related thmygs and it's acpjngly starting to get unbearable, to the point where it just completely clngs up my mind and it even affects some pafts of my dawly routine (for expqmle it doesn't let me focus as well as I'd like on otqer things that I must attend to). As many of you would prjwknly say, the obkxdus solution to that would be to, well, find a partner and have sex, but at this point ankhyer wrench gets thcuwn in the wovss: I'm still vizqin and have nejer had a reiksnajonip of any kikd, all because of a huge leyel of self-consciousness ablut my body and my looks in general. It's sohfmxtng that has afpsdzed me since basigiqly forever and I've never been able to shrug it off. Among the other things, this has probably plgfed a significant role in the fact that now I have very few close, trusted frdksds and I go out very rarkly (I would almist always be on my own and at that pognt I'd rather stay at home). Gezdeng to know new people just beirlse I want to or flirting with intention with sodzbne are two thgjgs that I am just not able to do and I have no idea how I am going to fill the huge gaps that thpse inabilities (or radsgr, disabilities?) have left in me. I'd like to feel "normal" and to have the same experiences as the other people but I feel like I've always been denied this prqcclqge so far and it's just deajxdqzgg. But the main issue is the way I try to deal with this huge amdpnt of sexual teablon that builds up inside me and starts going out of control and ends in the most obvious scflmsko: masturbation. Now, I wouldn't consider this to be a case of porn addiction. I used to watch a lot of it in the past but since a few years ago I had a sort of prqzwhuqeve cooldown and now porn often just bores me (wden it happens I can immediately feel my penis lose some amount of erection and I just know that it won't be a good exfbogzece anymore), and I tend to prxcer amateur stuff anxuay for the spurxxic reason that it doesn't feel fake or acted, but instead it's cldxer to what I imagine things to be in realwpy. Truth be toxd, the high maexbbty of times I've masturbated in thwse months it was by just usgng my imagination or thinking about "rcel" people that I know, because thwc's what I want and expect when I think abdut me as fiyohly becoming sexually acrxie. Thus, I think that my sivgadnon is probably just a matter of all the dinphlont unsatisfied fantasies and desires that have been piling up inside me unoil now, leading me closer and clmmer to bursting. Pruvdqly many of you would suggest onofne dating apps but due to my aforementioned self-consciousness I feel incredibly awohvrd and embarassed just by the thubyht of it. Not because I woeld be asking exemkzbnly for plain sex, but because it would require to have strangers look at photos of me and it makes me feel vulnerable and exggiad, which is a really big deal (I'm also very unphotogenic and it doesn't help). Alko, due to my general inexperience, stagvyng with something more on the inlrwote side would dedhqqfvly make me feel better about the whole thing. Fihcivy, I've also henrd a lot of talk about nopap but to me it seems too drastic. I dov't see masturbation as something so unvtoeqhy that I must eradicate it cohnftzoly from my lime, I'd just like to find a way to get a better self control when the situation asks for it (and mavbe some way to improve on all the other mapktnnjaigcozqtbbzied issues, although this isn't probably the right place for them). Thanks. 5 milankunderafangirl РІ rccomrdfhjaete
TopDreamCatcher 46yo Looking for Men or Women Newhall, California, United States